[UPHPU] 40 signs of a lousy PHP programmer

cole at colejoplin.com cole at colejoplin.com
Tue Feb 12 14:02:55 MST 2008

Quoting Joshua Simpson <std3rr at gmail.com>:

> But if debate can be kept civil, and you're at least
> intelligent enough to listen to reason, so-called "flame wars" can be
> productive.  Programmers
> tend to get heated about their favorite new tool -- the secret isn't to
> attempt to completely prohibit flame wars, but try to divert them into a
> productive exchange.  And, I'm glad to say, UPHPU is excellent at this.
> So, with all that being said, PHP droolz, Python roolz, vim > emacs, and
> Gentoo sucks ( so does OS X ).  Woo hoo!

What fun thread this has been to read! What a great group. As a  
veteran of decades of flame wars, I'd like to say I am very forgiving  
of the shortcomings of many technologies. Yes, I have personal  
favorites that come and go over time. In our development world, the  
victor over what droolz and what roolz is based on technical merits.  
This is our own delusion. (Yes, I'm brining out a wet blanket)

The real victor is ultimately determined by economic viability.  
Granted, technical innovation and shortcomings play a big part in the  
outcome, but economics are our Darwinian master. Google has taken LAMP  
and 'drooled' all the way to the bank. Dare I say the word --  
"W-i-n-d"...sorry, I can't bring myself to do it. I would submit that  
adoption of Linux has as much to do with making good business sense as  
it does technical prowess.

To illustrate my point, I will use a quote from Python.org's home  
page, "Python is fast enough for our site and allows us to produce  
maintainable features in record times, with a minimum of developers,"  
said Cuong Do, Software Architect YouTube.com. Sure sounds like a  
business-driven viewpoint to me.

This will sound shallow. But if I'm well paid, happy with the tools  
and the technology, the business is doing great, and customers are  
happy -- why should I care if someone thinks we drool? So for anyone  
suggesting I may be stupid for using PHP, I'd respond with my best  
Jerry Maguire-inspired "Show me the money!" (screaming it loudly and  

-- Cole

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